I HATE MYSELF

While i was having my dinner.. my mum suddenly asked me a question "will you bring me into your house in future?" then i said i will then she asked me "what if your wife doesn't allow" then i started to stun. I hate people questioning about my future wife cause I don't even have a gf. Yet I have failed many times in relationship. So I just answered " look, i really cannot guarantee you what my wife will look like and i don't have a gf yet." I have no idea why i will speak out like tat. I HATE myself. I have never said something to cause her cry for quite some time. Why? can anyone tell me why? why will I be like that? I am not supposed to be. Though i really hope to have a gf and i don't want others to question me about my future gf. arrrrrrrrrrrrrrarrrrrrrrrrrrrrraskldjfl;kasdhfia['wejfgasfj;iupgaeo0[pl;kmjnhgeoa;koqwreakjbo

my complicating feeling!!!